Fathers: The Designated Coach for the Family

 Growing a Great Family: (Part VII)

FATHERS: THE DESIGNATED COACH FOR THE FAMILY

Ephesians 5:21-23

21) Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22) Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

23) For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

Ephesians 6:4

4) Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

 

Psalm 112:1-2

1) Blessed is the man who fears the Lord, who finds great delight in his commands.

2) His children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.

     Prayer for Dad-Mender of Toys

Mender of toys, leader of boys,

Changer of fuses, kisser of bruises,

Bless him, dear Lord.

Mover of couches, soother of ouches,

Pounder of nails, teller of tales,

Reward him, O Lord.

Hanger of screens, counselor of teens,

Fixer of bikes, chastiser of tykes,

Help him, O Lord.

Raker of leaves, cleaner of eaves,

Dryer of dishes, fulfiller of wishes,

Bless him, O Lord.

                        - Author Unknown

            This Father's Day, we certainty would like to honor fathers by recognizing the many roles they play in order to make a huge difference in the lives of their children. I know we can still add some more from the list given by the poem such as: cook, driver, mechanic, etc.

            Speaking about all this invaluable roles, I would like to challenge our fathers to consider one very important role which we should never neglect fulfilling. This is being the ultimate coach for our children.

            For sure, in sports, we are all familiar with the importance of a great coach in the lives of great athletes. Listen to the words of the great Larry Bird as he pays tribute to His Boston Celtics coach, Red Auerbach who led his team to nine NBA titles, including eight straight championships from 1056-1966:

"Red Auerbach was one of the most influential people in my life. Not only was he an inspiration to me throughout my career, he became a close friend, as well. There could only be one Red Auerbach and I'll always be grateful for having the opportunity to experience his genius and his dedication to winning through teamwork."   

            I believe it would really be great if one of these days our children would be able to say the same things to us, as their fathers. You see, when you go to the Scriptures, you would find in a way some grounds for teaching that God expects Dads to be the coach in the family. When you look at the texts we have this morning, you can see how in Ephesians 5:21-23, the husband is given the role of being the leader of his household. And when you look at chapter 6:4; this leadership role is translated as providing the necessary training and instructions for the children.

In several occasions in the Scriptures, life has been compared to an athletic competition (1 Cor. 9:24-27; Heb. 12:1). With this truth in mind, fathers should recognize that we are the designated coach for our families. What does it mean? What does a coach do? Here are some of the functions of the coach:

I           THE COACH SUPPORTS IN ACHIEVING GOALS:

            Every athlete sets his eye for the championship ring or trophy. Even the Scriptures affirm this:

1 Corinthians 9:24

24) Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

            As fathers, what's the prize we want our children to actively pursue? Last Sunday, I remember quoting in the message a statement by Rick Warren, wherein he mentioned the four values that can captivate our children in today's culture:

  • Pleasure ("I want to feel good")
  • Possessions, ("I want to make a lot of money")
  • Prestige ("I want other people to envy me")
  • Power ("I want to be in control").

Fathers, we need to help our children understand that life is not just for the pursuit of these things. If these are all they will be living for, they are bound to a great disappointment because none of these things can really make them real winners. Paul understood the fact that the prize we need to be after is the one that will last forever:

1 Corinthians 9:25

25) Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.

            The Bible is very clear about a rewarding time for all those who will live and serve the Lord faithfully:

2 Corinthians 5:10

10) For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

            Have your children grasped this truth? Are they living for the prize that will last forever? Fathers, let's teach and guide them to be real winners.

II         THE COACH SHARPENS DISCIPLINE AND SKILLS

            Another important responsibility of the coach is being able to identify the skills of his players and assist them by developing the right disciplines in order to sharpen their skills.

            This process is often referred to as training. If you go to Ephesians 6:4, the apostle Paul uses three words to summarize this major duty of fathers:

            A. "Bring them up" - The verb bring them up is the word for Nurture. The nurturing is not limited to physical involving the providing of food, shelter, and clothing. This also includes nurturing them emotionally and spiritually. The development of the boy Jesus is our example:

Luke 2:52

52) And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

            Here is the balanced growth: intellectual, physical, spiritual, and social. The home is still the primary place for training. God's looks to the parents to provide the kind of training that the children need.

           B. "Discipline" - The Greek word Paideia carries the idea of training through discipline. Notice how this word is translated in Hebrews 12: 5-6:

And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."

            You see training involves discipline. They are rules and regulations that lead to reward and punishment. The child is rewarded for keeping the rule, and punished for breaking it. Of course, discipline must always be done in the context of love.

            C. "Instruction" - This is what you say to the child. This word came from the Greek Nouthesia which means "verbal instruction with a view to correct." For example, it's saying, "if you keep doing that, you're going to run into problems" or I've got to counsel you about that." The book of Proverbs are full of reminders to children such as this:

Proverbs 1:8-9

8) Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching.

9) They will be a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.

            Obviously, to be able to carry out these responsibilities, fathers need to be present. Can you imagine the coach being absent to provide his players the training they need?

I read a story of a young man being sentenced to the penitentiary. The judge had known him from childhood, for he was well acquainted with his father--a famous legal scholar and the author of an exhaustive study entitled, "The Law of Trusts." "Do you remember your father?" asked the magistrate. "I remember him well, your honor," came the reply. Then trying to probe the offender's conscience, the judge said, "As you are about to be sentenced and as you think of your wonderful dad, what do you remember most clearly about him?" There was a pause. Then the judge received an answer he had not expected. "I remember when I went to him for advice. He looked up at me from the book he was writing and said, 'Run along, boy; I'm busy!' When I went to him for companionship, he turned me away, saying "Run along, son; this book must be finished!' Your honor, you remember him as a great lawyer. I remember him as a lost friend." The magistrate muttered to himself, "Alas! Finished the book, but lost the boy!"

Fathers, we have the great opportunity to bring the best out of our children's capabilities. I know helping them to be the best in life will be a long process. It will demand a lot of work and patience, but it's all worth it when they become what God wants them to be.

III        THE COACH SOLIDIFIES CONFIDENCE

            Lastly, a good coach help their players develop a great deal of confidence in order for them to overcome the challenges they face. Even if the athlete has great skills, if the fear factor is not managed, the athlete will be less effective.

            Today, there are many children living in fear. A nationwide survey of more than 2,200 seven-to-eleven-year-olds, released by the private Foundation for Child's Development, indicated that more than two-thirds are scared that "someone bad" is skulking about their neighborhood, waiting to break into their homes. A quarter of the children are afraid that they will be attacked when they go outside-with some justification, since more than 40% have been harassed by older kids or adults while playing. Children addicted to television (those who watch four or more hours daily) are twice as likely to be fearful; nearly 25% of all the children are frightened by violent programs.

            I firmly believe that the greatest confidence in life can come out of a healthy knowledge and relationship with God. Here are some Bible characters expressing great confidence:

Psalm 23:4 - David

4) Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

Philippians 4:13 - Paul

13) I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

            We, as fathers should help our children develop their trust in the Lord so that they would be able to face their challenges confidently. Psalm 112:1-2 clearly suggests that it is possible if you yourself are keeping a healthy relationship with God. God in this passage promises that your children will be "mighty" or in another way of putting it, "winners" in the land. May God use all our fathers to be effective coaches to their families.