Committed to Building Relationships

  • Rev. Jerry Lepasana
  • Feb 17, 2008
  • Series: Revisiting Our Core Values

COMMITTED TO BUILDING RELATIONSHIPS

Core Value: Build intimate relationships and fellowships among members.

 

Romans 14:19

19) Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

9) Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:

10) If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

11) Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

12) Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Proverbs 27:17

17) As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

 

            Time and again, we need to re-examine our understanding of the church. I believe there are many who make the mistake of referring to the church simply as the place they go to every Sunday. However, when you go to the New Testament, it is quite clear that the church refers to a group of people who are bound together by their faith in Christ and their resolve to worship and serve God.  One clear passage is 1 Corinthians 1: 2:

To the church of God in Corinth, to those sanctified in Christ Jesus and called to be holy, together with all those everywhere who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ--their Lord and ours.

            Clearly, the church in this verse refers to the believers in Corinth. Now, this understanding would help us define how we should relate to the church. If BCI is just a place where you go to on a Sunday, then coming here consistently can already be perceived as faithful participation to the church. But since BCI is composed of people, I believe it is but proper to consider our relationship with the people of the church.  

             You see, our relationship with other believers in the church has an impact in our personal growth as Christians. The more we are involved with other Christians, the more we can grow as believers. The apostle Paul in Romans 14:19 encourages us to make every effort to help other believers become stronger in the Lord. I don't think this is possible unless we are willing to build relationships with other members of the church.

This is the very reason why one of our core values is building intimate relationships and fellowships among members.  We recognize that we cannot be a healthy church without our members establishing good relationships with each other. How do we plan to do this? Well, we have started some ministries to accomplish this.

First, we have our Care Groups.  Right now, we have eight groups in place and approximately 85% of our membership are participating. Come March 2, I will be starting the Experiencing God Care Group for those who are having difficulty with either the Friday or the Saturday schedule. Secondly, we have different fellowships - Young Once, Men, Women, Couples, Singles, College, and our Youth. Both of these smaller groups are designed to help us build relationships with some members of the church in a deeper level. Then, we have organized activities like church camps, picnics and others, which are for the purpose of strengthening fellowships.  Obviously, we know that these ministries will not allow you to know everyone in the church. That's alright! Studies that had been done in churches show that an average church member knows 67 people in the congregation, whether the church has 200 or 2,000 attending.  So, a member does not have to know everyone in the church in order to feel like it's his or her church, but an individual should at least know some people in a deeper level.

            With this core value before our church, I trust that we would be able to impress to everyone who comes to BCI that we want you to feel that this is your church, and just like Paul in our text we would like to encourage you to make the effort to build the relationships that will result to your growth in the Lord. Here are some suggestions I would like to highlight as we build relationships:

           

I           RESIST ISOLATION:

            The Bible is so clear about the value of other people in our lives.  In Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 and Proverbs 27:17, King Solomon who was known for his wisdom enlightens us about the profits of relationships. Of course, this should come to us without any surprise because right from the creation of man, God has declared these words:

Genesis 2:18

18) The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

 

            Whenever this verse is quoted, we immediately think of a husband or a wife, but the general principle is there. We should not try to live our lives isolated from others.  Examining what had happened to Adam and Eve, Satan had to isolate Eve from Adam in order for her to sin against God. Clearly, we are more vulnerable to defeats and destruction when we are alone.  Unfortunately, we live in a society where we can easily be isolated. I think there are some factors that contribute to this:

  • Ø False sense of sufficiency - having the ability to acquire most of our basic material needs, we do not feel the need to depend on anyone.
  • Ø High cost of living - we need to work all the time, even seeking additional income.
  • Ø Family responsibilities - we need to attend to household chores, children's homework and extra curricular activities such as dance practice, sports, karate, etc.
  • Ø Expensive gadgets - Computer, television, cell phones, I pod, etc. allow us to have a world of our own. They can consume much of our time.

We need to constantly fight the tendency to isolate from others.  I know how busy most of us are. But, we still need to make the effort to invest some of our time in relationships. It would be tragic if at the end of the day we would feel just like what this verse say:

Isaiah 49:4

4) But I said, "I have labored to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing. Yet what is due me is in the Lord's hand, and my reward is with my God."

 

            We don't want to end up consuming all our strength for nothing. God definitely wants us to use some of our time and energy in building up others in Him.

II         REBUILD INFLUENCE AND INSPIRATION:

            Perhaps, one of the significant reasons why God wants us to build relationship with others is the fact that we can impact someone positively. We can influence and inspire someone to be the kind of person God wants him or her to be. Hebrews 10:24-25 states this clearly:

Hebrews 10:24-25

24) And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

25) Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching.

 

            God in this passage is reminding us that we can spur or provoke others to love and good deeds. In other words, we can encourage others to be more loving to God and other people. Then, to be more involved in serving others in the name of the Lord. Honestly speaking, are we conscious of our influence towards others? Are we intentional of inspiring others? You might be asking, right now who can I influence?

  • Ø Family - Those within your immediate family are the most fertile ground for your influence and inspiration.
  • Ø Extended family - Relatives with whom you have contact and who can observe your life.
  • Ø Close personal friends - The trust and intimacy you share can promote influence and inspiration.
  • Ø Co-workers - We spend a great amount of time with them next to our family.
  • Ø Neighbors - If we exert some effort, we can have open doors in the lives of people who live in our immediate community.

Again, our lives can have an impact to these people. I challenge you to consider affecting others for the Lord. We never know how God would bless your influence. Think of Andrew for example. Among the disciples, you probably don't hear much about him. But notice his influence:

John 1:40-41,

40) Andrew, Simon Peter's brother, was one of the two who heard what John had said and who had followed Jesus.

41) The first thing Andrew did was to find his brother Simon and tell him, "We have found the Messiah" (that is, the Christ).

 

            We all hear  the great accomplishments of Peter. But, Peter came to know the Messiah through the influence of his brother Andrew. Or you probably have heard about the great evangelist Dwight L. Moody who won millions of people to the Lord. He was influenced by a humble Sunday school teacher named Edward Kimball to receive Jesus as his savior. Beloved, our influence can be used by the Lord beyond what we are able to imagine. Let's all be conscious of doing our best to influence and inspire others for the Lord.  

           

III        REMEMBER INTERCESSION:

Lastly, another dynamic part in our church fellowship is the ministry of intercession. You see, deep relationships can bring about genuine concern among members. And when God's people care for one another, a normal product will be praying for one another. Intercession is that form of prayer wherein we pray in behalf of another.

Many of you can identify times in our Care Group gatherings when  people become transparent and honestly share their hurts and burdens, and ask others to pray for them. Or occasions when one family in the Care Group are going through some special crises and others come around and minister to them by praying for them. These are precious and powerful times.

In the Bible, even great men like the apostle Paul sought the prayers of other believers:

2 Thessalonians 3:1-2

1) Finally, brothers, pray for us that the message of the Lord may spread rapidly and be honored, just as it was with you.

2) And pray that we may be delivered from wicked and evil men, for not everyone has faith.

 

            Paul understood the value of prayer partners. When you are isolated from other believers, you are missing on the opportunity of having some serious prayer partners in life.  Remember, in prayers, we have the privilege of experiencing the activities of God firsthand. I'm sure we all have stories to tell on how God has manifested His power through our prayers. Let's keep praying for one another.

            As we close, let's us not forget that God built the church for a special purpose: so we can have a community who will share in our life's adventures. Victories are definitely much sweeter when you have a community to celebrate them with. If you  feel alone in this life, please consider the church, our church, Bible Church International.